Growing up
My mom recently connected with a lot of her high school friends and she told me that their personalities and traits in high school were relatively deterministic of how they ended up as adults. Well that was daunting.
I didn’t think I am ready for my personality right now to determine the rest of my life. My mom told me that even in high school, she could tell who would become really successful and who could make an impact and who couldn’t. She didn’t tell me whether I would or wouldn’t.
Growing up labeled as an “over achiever” (I swear I’m not anymore, I do what’s necessary and what I like to do :)), I’m still constantly haunted by the prospect of not doing enough. I see people who have things that are really cool like high school seniors who published 11 apps in the app store or people who win plaque after plaque for speech and debate and I wonder: should I push myself to vie for these gold stars too?
And I think that after three years of high school, three years of sabotaging myself comparing myself back and forth, I’m finally able to muster a weak, “no, I don’t want these things”
As I grow up, I’m starting to see that I need to fight for what I value and what I want because I like it, not because it’s a shiny gold star. And I’ve realized this:
Part of growing up is realizing just how much I don’t know and how much I’ll never know. Part of growing up is recognizing how much I won’t achieve.
Part of growing up is falling in love with the world over and over. Admiring the people who are a thousand times better than me.
Part of growing up is embracing myself as I come- a limited human capable of some, but not all.
