Last Day of Class (LDoC)

Dear LDoC,

You’re the last day of high school, the day that 12 years of standardized education has lead up to, and you are the day that I’ve both waited for and dreaded for a while. Thinking about you gets my stomach tied in twisted knots (before you were over, I had even more knots due to the massive amount of homework assignments I had due today!) but now, knowing that you’re done and over, I feel strangely empty inside.

Perhaps it was the fact that I overslept my last Linear Algebra class or the fact that the physics retake that I ended my day with was just so anticlimactic that I was numbed by all the equations. Or perhaps it’s the fact that I still have two papers and a final to study for. Either way, the day passed in a blur just like any other and just like that, high school is finished.

It still hasn’t fully hit me yet that I can’t call myself a high schooler anymore. I’m not a senior, I’ve been sent to freshman year, to start over and to begin anew. It’s not all bad, but I’m scared. I’m scared because right now I’m sitting in a circle under florescent lights with some of my best friends jamming out to lo-fi. And we’re just sitting in silence (minus the clicking of my typing) and we’re all just perfectly comfortable with that. I love that.

I’m just worried that in college, it won’t be like that anymore. I know it’s a silly and irrational fear to have because the population pool at college is significantly bigger than the one in my high school. So statistically speaking, I’m much more likely to find people that I enjoy spending time with. But I’m scared that I won’t find people like the girl I spend late nights sighing with or the boy who prefaces his stories with introductions that are far too detailed and far too long. I’m scared that there won’t be anymore nights like these where we just sit around not doing much at all, but it’s perfect that way.

But you’re over. Just 24 hours and you’re gone, that’s the way it always has been anyway. I just miss you. And I want to take you back. I’d never do you again, I don’t think I would make it, but I just wanted to thank you. For being the day that I looked forward to for a lifetime and also for being a day that marks a turning point in my life.

Love,

Claudia